July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 May 2007 September 2007 October 2007 January 2008 March 2008

Why am I feeling this way? somehow like lonely,happy but a lil bit sad,no interest or mood in doing anything. I feel that loneliness again..Am I that quiet until no one wants to talk to me? or Am I that borring? Am I that moody? Am I???? Can anyone tell me? why i feel so badly here....Under depression....

Gimana perasaan lo org ketika diancam sama org yg plg lo sayagin? Ketika hatimu ditusuk oleh kata2 yg dikeluarkan dr mulut mereka? Seberapa berarti perkataan mreka itu bagi mu? Buat lo org yg blg klo apa yg nyokap lo bilang itu gk mungkin terjadi, lo harus mikir2 lg. Setiap perkataan yg kluar dr mulutnya itu berarti sesuatu dan lo gk blh anggap remeh sama apa yg diomongin sama dy.

Perasaanku beberapa minggu ini serasa bener2 kebelah, gk tau kebelah jd berapa part. Rasanya sakit hatiku ini menahan smuanya. Tetesan air mataku pun mengalir... Jikapun aku menangis. serasa gk ada artinya. Tapi harus bagaimana? I have no way to exprress my sickness, my pain inside here. I cant talk back to them...but how should I tell them how is my feeling here. Kalo misalnya aku share sama tmn pun, blm tentu mreka bisa rasain apa yg aku rasain skarang ini. Kalo aku nangis, mungkin org2 will think klo aku mau ambil sympati mreka. Do I? or they might think the other way??? Actually its rediculous to write in this blog but I dun have anything to lie on now...

Mom...I'm sorry...I might be hopeless....but Im really trying the best that I can do....
I might not be perfect in doing anything. but is there anyway to make u accept it? or to make u happy?.......

Sometimes...I was thinking of something that never happened in my life before....and I always missed it...I think it is quite obvious...Birthday party...I dun have a birthday party since hmmm...quite a long time...I just wondering if I can have a surprise party...or just simple one but memorable...I always missed this moment every year...Everytime during my birthday, I always spend my day with my family..having a normal dinner.. well my birthday I never expect anyone to give me a present.. its up to the person whether they want to give or not...for me as long as they remember I am happy with it...How I wish I can celebrate my birthday with my friends here... but it seems like it will never happen in my life...will that happen? who noes???

Waktu cepet bgt berlalu...which means The time for me to make a decision is coming...I can count it by my fingers....Confuse of what to think of...or what to do??? If I cant make it this time it means that's it...the journey is end...huahuahuahua....I dun want it to be happen...I still want to continue it end of my life...struggling a lot here but it doesnt make me to give up.!!!!! Pokoknya harus bisa!!!!!!

Learning from the past is good for our life...but a passion of going back to the past is that good? Learning from the past really make my life change...As the time goes by I can understand how difficult walking on the path throughout this life...the love story..the friendship life and also the school life... I guess this life is full of mix and match..It's like when u want to wear a clothes u must see what should we match with? friends come in and out....meeting a new friends means meeting a new story of life..but when this friends betrayed you or leave u alone the story that u make with them is end....Is that true? Well we still can keep in touch with them but maybe its different...they're character and the way they treat u might be different...I guess that's what I feel now...We can make friends anywhere...Actually they're all around you...we cant always depend on one friends only because they are not the one that gonna lead our life...I make this principle stick in my head but why I still cant stay away from this feeling... Do I feel lonely? If I can re-born I want to really change my life...well now I cant change my life totally but I only can repair to the better one... Can I?

Yesterday it's such a tiring day but it's still fun... For the 1st half day, It's preety boring...but still I must do my freaky homework...then at around 3.30pm I started my journey, shopping at Taka with Dewi and Sylvia...At nite my roomie, Lea and I watched Fireworks at the Merlion near Esplanade. They were so beautiful...They were like a paint spalshing the clear blue sky in the evening...I love that scenery...I wish I can watch it again...hahahaha...

Ardisa Lee (:p)
dis2 lee :D
15 years old
Dec6 1991
HSS
sec4
Indo-chi

I'm Ardisa,people always called me Disa or Ardisa. Sociable,humorous,quiet in certain extent??? hahaha..I can be high sometimes, I like foods,tradition,music,violin,piano.beach and photography :D lakes, A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. :DD

:Da>
violinband62004@hotmail.com

Ohoh and I like travelling :D

why can't i have these instead?

-A new laptop (Vaio!!!)
- Pass all my exams with flying colours
- Experience a miracle
- learn how to cook
- Perfumes
- go to Jakarta!!
- a big2 teddy bear
- New bags!!!
- Shoes
- clothes
- digital camera
- Travelling
- design my own dress
- write a book
- Long hair!!!
- The very last one start with D :p