The truth of the stories...

2008-03-22T22:21:00.000-07:00

Whoa!!!! Its been a long time since the beggining of the year and now time to UPDATE!!!! School is just driving me crazy. Our school so called "intensive" days gonna begin soon. Soon=next week. My schedule getting more and more tight. Gonna have physics practical every thursday afternoon and Lesson on friday morning instead of CCA period which is my free period. Not only that!!! Friday is our test time!!! I really wish to over my O level as soon as possible. This year also really intense year. Major exams coming up and I have to take my TOEFL which I dont know when I can take the test!!! Soon, I also going to have MT intensive and its like from morning to afternoon everyday!!! Bisa muntah darah wessss

Last night, Dewi was just arrived at Seattle. I'm gonna miss my lovely buddy!!! (Jangan GR ya dew klo baca ini! muihihihihi) I just have to wait when my turn come. I just cant wait to go there. But in the other hand I dont want to leave. I really have a great friends here. Tp gpp deh. Pasti suatu hari kita org bakal ketemu lg. Betul???

Suddenly I miss org2 rmh!!! I mean my mom and dad. Klo skarang di Sgp aja kangennya semampai apalg ntar klo udah tambah jauh...semampai+semampai!!!

Pokoknya intinya taun ini mesti kudu harus berjuang+semangat deh!!! Ciao...

2008-01-04T16:44:00.000-08:00

Wow.... its been a long long time, since the last time I updated my bloggie!!! I Love my previous holiday. Can U imagine 3 months for not coming to school??? For me.. I miss school so much!!! and of course I miss all my friends here.

October 2007- My N level was start on the first week of october and it ends with my POA paper and its on 8 october. Its trully heart breaking exam because I cant balance the sum of debit and credit in balance sheet!!!!! I hate that sooooooooo much!!!!!! Overall, the paper was very hard. Everyone who took this paper also said so!!!! That was my last paper which means my holiday is coming. Everyone was so happy including me. Of course everyone happy because exam was over and as for me, my parents are coming to singapore on the following week.

15Oct-19Oct 2007- That was my parents period. Its their first time came to Singapore to visit us together. I brought them to many places. I remembered, when my parents and I were at IKEA. 3 of us waiting for the shop to open for 1 hr without taking our breakfast in the morning. Then we were at IKEA from 10am till 3.30pm. At night, I brought them to my favourite restaurant, Spize at River valley.

29oct- My journey didnt stop until there. This day was my first time work in Library@orchard as a volunteer. Some of my friend ask the same question when I told them "I'm working in the library." They ask me "How much is your salary?" or " Did u get any payment?" I just said that It was a volunteery work so I didn't get any payment. I chose this type of work because I saw my friend working in the library before and from there on, there was this thought in my mind which said " I want to do the same thing as her" It's a new experience for me because I never work in the library and my CCA has no relation with library at all. Hari pertama di library itu kacau.... dikasi trolley 3 rak isinya buku semua. Trus pas lg diberesin, org2 yg dtg mulai berantakin lg buku2nya!!!! FREAK ABIESSSSS!!!!! Pulang dr library, badan pegel2 smua!!! tulang punggung aja dah gk ada rasanya!!!! I did that job from 29 Oct till 9 Nov. But overall, I didnt regret at all eventhough a few days before I end my job I was sick. Aiiiihhhhhhh!!!!!

10 Nov- 14 Nov- It was unbelieveable when my mom said " Yes, U can go." Yupppp...I went to Jakarta alone for the first time. I mean I went there by myself without my parents. I'm sooooooo happy because finally I could get what I wanted. I stayed with Steffi's family at Muarakarang. When I was in the airplane, I was imagined like " Gmana klo pas masuk kamarnya steffi tiba2 ada unwelcome thing which is cocroach aka KECOA??!!!" You know what, I went to her room and I saw no cocroach but when I opened the bathroom.... yesssss I saw One BIG COCROACH!!!!!! (what I thought was sooooo right!!!)

On 11th Nov, my journey was begunnnn!!! I was so excited. The night before, I called all my friends in jakarta and ask them out the following day which is Sunday. So my journey start...but before that let me introduce our beloved supir!!! His name is Isnu. ( Gk perlu dikenalin juga org dah tau deh kyknya...ya gk tmn2???) He fetched steffi and I at around 10am. Before we fetch Caroline at Pondok Indah area, we went to fetch Cherry at PIK. Then We went to PIM to meet Ikka. I never met her like for 1 year+ eventhough we are from the same town. After that we went to eat at Fish & co and continue with wathcing movie called The game plan.

The rest of the days, I spent it only with Steffi,Isnu and caroline because cherry and Ikka were having school. I got a chance to play bowling at EX. Not to forget I love the foods at MK. I love those days in Jakarta. Finally I ended my journey on 14Nov. I went back to my hometown. Yes..its kinda short trip but as for me, it's not a matter whether it was a short a trip or not but seneng aja bisa kumpul2 sama temen2 lg. Thats the most important thing of all.

Well..went back to hometown means no time to hang out with friends because in fact I have no friends to hang out with. Most of them were having school so our schedule is different. I spent my days in my mom's and dad's shop. Not much I can do there. The only 2 things that I can do are ngurusin nota sama jd kasir. Nota nya gila2an. Segunung!!!!!!! but that was not so bad as last time. ya itung2 at least ada kerjaan aja di toko. I spent my 16th birthday at home without my bro because our birthday is the same. I went to my Bobo's house at Purwokerto and also I went to Jogja for some meetings.

I spent my days at home with thinking. Thinking of what's the next step or what will I do after I finished my studies. I have a lot of plans. I wish I could do many things in this life.

Overall I should say these holiday was so lovely......

2007-10-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

Hi readers...Maybe I shouldnt say that this holiday is boring. Holiday can be interesting too. I should do interesting things. In my previous blog, I looks like very desperate of getting something to happen. BUT maybe...I should let it be like what it should be. Its holiday time!!! No one should take over my holiday!!!

Be happy Be healthy*wink*

2007-10-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

In my sorrow night
I was sitting down here in my bed...
Feeling lonely and bored...
It seems like really Nothing cant help
but wait...
Waiting for miracle to come???
Waiting for something to happen...
Waiting to end it with something interesting
*Sigh*
A single day in here
I spent it so hard..
but..sometimes
I still dont feel the Joy in me...

Every single day in here..
I spent it with sitting down
in front of my computer
Listen to the songs which will never end...
and I really get bored of those entertainment there.

I really hope my wish come true...
Not all of them...
but..
Maybe those wishes that I really want...

I want to spent my holiday with something interesting

2007-10-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

My exams are over!!! YAY!!! I'm gonna have such a long2 break. I wonder what am I going to do? I wanted to go to Jak and I guess it wont happen. Eventhough there is a chance to go but it doesnt work at all. I really wonder how's my holiday gonna be? in my hometown where there is nothing, no friends, and I cant go anywhere by myself. Argghhhhh...I have to wait for my brother exams result to be out and I can go home after that. DAMN!!! Ngapain aja gw di sgp??? manalg tmn2 ada yg plg sama ada yg exams. Bener2 deh!!! Liburan terlalu panjang gk enak apalg klo terlalu pendek...I guess the answer is more worst. NVM..just let it be. I hope for miracle man!!! I want something more interesting for my holiday!!!

2007-09-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hari-hari itu pun datang juga...

Hari-hari perjuangan itu pun tiba...

Walaupun itu cuman sebentar...

seakan-akan hari-hari itu memeras otak

memeras dan terus memeras...

Perjuangan hingga tetes darah terakhir

itupun akan dimulai...

ckckckck...sejak kpn gw jd puitis...walaupun rada kacau bahasanya..ya kira2 itu lah yg gw pikirin sekarang ini... ujian udah bisa dihitung dgn jari. gk kerasa cepet bgt hari itu berlalu... hari2 menuju perang dan hari2 menuju temporary freedom!!! itulah yg dipanggil bersakit-sakit dahulu bersenang-senang kemudian. Ya itung2 itu juga cuman sementara. I love my days. Eventhough its stressful, but it keep me busy. At least I wont stay at home and do nothing.
To those people who are having next week onwards, Gud luck and All the best!!!

2007-09-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well...today is my graduation day. It is such a wonderful and big event to all the graduating pupils. But it turns out to be errrr..should I called it disaster? as maybe people were just too excited or maybe they want to make sarcasm action...well I dont know...Poor teachers...they have to arrange this event for us and yet there are some monkeys whom doesnt know how to appreciate it. They make a lot of noise and the hall looked like a big market. DAMN!!! but unexpected thing happen to me. I never expect to get at least 1 CCA award but surprisingly I got 2 awards one is from Band the other one is from prefect. Wohohohoho.... anyway here are some photos of the day...

Me,Cin,Carla,Joy,melody and steffi
Me,Cindy,Carla,Joy and melody @ sch Hall

Anita,Jessica,steph bro, Steph,Carla,Cindy and I

2007-09-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

I think I need someone to slap me.

It just to wake me up from my sleeping beauty.

Will a slap wake me up?

I do try slap myself

but it only works a lil bit

I want to...

Start with a new fresh page

Write...write....and write...

Breath a fresh air

Start with a new adventure

Discover the world around me

2007-09-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

Yay my prelims are over!!! Finally I can have a rest. But not totally a break because in about 1 more week to my N level, which means I shall have my last revision before the actual date. I MUST!!! Give the best shot!!! I want to come back next year!!! This week I want to go to east coast again. At least to release all the "Weird" stuff inside my mind. Well... maybe I should join yoga so that I can constrain my mind and soul. Damn!!!

Yesterday, I went out to have lunch with my bro and then I become so called a lost kid at Orchard. Well, firstly I went to Borders to buy some story books and actually I want to return Franky's books so I just waited at Borders.

After I get the books and met Franky, I went to Tang's and Franky went to Far East but in the end we met up again. Then both of us went to Taka and UNEXPECTEDLY I met my friend, Albert!!!I was surprise. Its been a long time ever since he went to Seattle and I thought we will never see each other again and actually I DID met him yesterday. hahahaha.. He looked quite different. Look more neat and skinny. hahaha...

Then, Franky and I walked around Taka and in the end we decided to go to HMV and I went home with my bro because he ended his class when I was about to go home.

Today...Such a boring day in school. I though I'm going to get my prelims results but it turns out to be an extremely boring day but at least not during english class.

During English class, I watch a movie. I dont know what's the title..its a nice a movie. But people just dont understand the meaning of silent and tolerate.I hate when it is the time for lecture. Some people just don't know how to respect people's privacy or people's need. How I wish I could have a huge scotch tape to seal their mouth??? heessss... I wander if its happen in the cinema what kind of response will the audience give??? Throw popcorn at them?? or scold them??? Perhaps an intersting show will become a popcorn war. hahaha...

I think That's it for today....

Time to sleep...

cya....

2007-09-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Many things that I want in my life...instead of my long wishlist...I still have the others...

After N's, I'm going to have 3 months of holiday...Damn!!! Its kinda long but can I have something different fo this long holiday???

Firstly...I want to go home to celebrate my Mom's birthday on 21October....
Secondly....I want to celebrate my Dad's birthday on 6November
Thirdyly... I want to go to Jakarta...

Ever since I study in sgp, I never come home to celebrate my parents birthday. This year I want to come home and celebrate with them. Eventhough it's only a dinner but I miss to have dinner with them...huhuhu...

Can I?

2007-09-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

Damn!!! Suddenly I miss my hometown...Especially the foods!!! Jd pingin pulang ke jawa neh..pingin makan2 yg manis2 sama of course masakannya mami.
Here are the list of foods that I wanna eat:
1.Nasi megono
2.Gudeg Jogja
3.Soto Kudus
4.Kepiting goreng
5.Sup jagungnya si mami...

I'm really looking forward to go home..at least a month maybe...then I wanna continue my journey aka travelling around Jawa!!! I missed home!!!

2007-09-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

Finally it was done!!! I'm so glad!!! The package was safely reach the destination..hihihi... I thought it wont reached the place on time.At first Siska and I didnt expect this to be happen. Somehow both of us thought " Shall we do it for Isnu's birthday present?" It's a lil bit silly but why not??? Inside the box may contain "horrible" things but the meaning of the present was not to make the day horrible. We want to make something different and that was our present!!! Sorry bgt ya nu klo isinya aneh2..mulai dr indomie sampe bola tennis kita masukin smua..hahahaha...18 things we collected...18 people had made it happened in his 18 birthday...
Anyway thank you to all th 18 people who had made it happen..thx ya udah bantuin..hehehe...

Lain waktu...Lain cerita...
Dimana si isnu ultah, besoknya kita2 yg sec4 prelim!!! nasib2...but it's ok..shall we call it as bersakit-sakit dahulu bersenang-senang kemudian???

Today....Geography paper..I dont have any feelings towards it..It seems to be easy but I dont know whether I'm doing the right thing...
Seriously..Last night I only can study a lil bit and I continue my study again in the morning...
Damn!!! No mood to study at all...somehow like so tired but actually I'm not!!!

Tomorow is my chemistry and A-maths paper.. hope to get a good results and I want my study mood to come back!!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!! Left about 6papers to go for my prelim!!!

2007-09-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

I love Yesterday...

At first there were Caroline,Anthony and Me...

Caroline and I met Anthony at city hall mrt and once again we were late...

We took our lunch first at Marina square..Then we went to Esplenade Library to study

But There was no place..We decided to go to Starbucks and spent about 4 hours study there but anth went home first and cindy came and joined Caroline and I...

Cindy came and guess what...I dont know why she loves to take picture!!!! The whole day she took lots of picture especially when we were having our dinner at..errr...I cant remember the place name. She took a lot of my photos!!!!

The whole day we were at Marina square and MSq is like our home!!!

2007-09-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

Ketika ada seekor kupu-kupu hinggap di pundakmu, setidaknya ucapkan keinginanmu karena kupu2 itu akan membawa pergi apa yang kamu ucapkan itu...

Does anyone believe? Well...perhaps I do. or Perhaps I should try it once.
How happy am I if it is true?
Let the butterfly bring all my wish...
Maybe bring out all the unwanted things from me...

Waiting...waiting...and waiting...
Waiting is something which people say "it isnt a nice thing to do"
Thats true...
But...
Maybe you will gain something for being patiently waiting...

Menunggu termangu-mangu itu bukan satu hal yang buruk...
Walaupun kadang2 itu sangat membosankan
Tetapi...
Itulah salah satu cara untuk menguji diri kita sendiri
Menguji seberapa sabar diri kita ini dalam menghadapi hidup ini
Menguji seberapa sabar diri kita untuk mengatasi masalah yg berkepanjangan
Menguji seberapa sabar diri kita untuk mendapatkan apa yang kita mau selama ini....
Menguji seberapa tangguh diri kita ini juga...

Menunggu juga sesuatu yg membosankan...
Menunggu juga pasti ada limitnya...
Tidak mungkin orang harus menunggu sampai rambut rontok
sampa gigi rontok ataupun sampai langit jatuh...

Menunggu+Ujian=Perfect!!!
Is that true???

2007-09-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

Counting the days before the N's and my prelims
Well actually not really counting..
The actual days it's like NEXT WEEK onwards!!!
Kinda nervous but tryin' to calm myself
Preparation is almost done
But I'm nervous

English...English...English..
I want to pass with flying colours...
No more Red dots!!!

I hope I can get what I want!!!

2007-05-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

Menunggu + Kesabaran ato Menunggu +Kesabaran + Mimpi

Kira-kira mana yg nyambung ya????

Kalo menunggu + Kesabaran itu menurut gw nyambung..soalnya kan klo org menunggu sesuatu jawaban itu kan mesti sabar or misalnya aja org lg nunggu result masuk skolah kan juga mesti tunggu berhari-hari tuh so ya kesabaran sedang diuji lagi...

In the other way...Menunggu +kesabaran+ Mimpi itu...itu mah jawabannya juga klo lg nunggu dengan penuh kesabaran bisa terbawa mimpi...soalnya kan apa yg kita tunggu itu bisa terbawa mimpi ato klo kita lg melamun bisa aja kebawa-bawa dlm lamunan ato dlm tidur kita (Wihhh.. kalo sampe kebawa mimpi ato lamunan itu mah serem kale..bisa2 klo misalnya yg ditunggu itu hari untuk membalas dendam ke org bisa2 org di sekitar kita yg kena..ato pas lg bobo bisa2 bantal guling ato kitanya udah mental kmana-mana deh) hahahaha...

So people what do u think???

2007-05-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Well...Today is such a boring day in school...Early in the morning our class just got scolded by our beloved SS teacher..because we thought that today there is no ss... We have 3 periods of SS, 2 periods of Geography and followed by recess at 10.30am...During recess, Instead of went to the canteen, I went to the Band Room. Long time I never been there since the SYF period finished. Sometimes I hate Band practice BUT sometimes I miss the band practice.
Eventhough the band practices make me tired but I like it.. PERHAPS it's simply because I LOVE Music!!!
When I entered the band room today, I was pretty shocked...WHY??? Now the band look more bigger..as just now the sec1s were joining the main band..Then the sir told me a joke "Hey Ardisa, your junior start to talk to the string bass and she feels lonely there" Then I just laughed and the rest of the band members were stunned...hahaha...

The time passed by very fast. At 11am I had to go back to the class again. Continue with the geography lesson. Haizzz... I almost asleep during the lesson but fortunately I've got bring a novel called "GEGE MENGEJAR CINTA" itu novel lucu deh...hahaha...at least wake me up during the lesson..well during the lesson I was reading the novel and started to laugh...laugh..and laugh...Then my classmate asked me "What book did u read? looks interesting..."

At 11.30am, I had English class... Instead of 2 periods I only have 1 period because the classroom key was lost and the teacher forgot...Then after the englih period finish...we went to the hall to attend a talk by the girl guides who are going to the HO CHI MINH city for their gift of sight project. Well it sounds interesting..How I wish I can involve in this project??? I don't know why I just love those project which is related to the sociality stuff especially about children...I love children!!! eventhough sometimes children are irritating because they can cry non-stop but I love their smile...

Yeah I think thats all for today....

2007-05-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

These 2 days..I kept dreamt about something...Here is the dream all about:
" One day, I woke up in the morning as the sun rays passed through my window and the birds started to chirp...I decided to take a bath and have a morning walk. As I'm walking, I found a garden- a trully huge maple tree garden. OMG it is very beautiful and I can see the maple leaves falling from the trees...and I feel so relieve and fly"

What is that supposed to be mean? I wonder why...

Yesterday...I just got back my MYE result...well..I failed 2 subject which are A-maths and POA. Partially I'm quite happy with my result BUT it makes me think of something "bisa gk gw dptin apa yg gw targetin within 3-4months? is USA out???" somehow I feel putus asa but I started to realise that if I'm broke like that, I'm not gonna get what I want... Maybe what Ms Tan said to me last time was right..."I need to be realistic." Its trully heartbreaking...Sometimes I said to myself "Capek deh!!! dptnya bginian lagi.."
Kalo diitung-itung mungkin udah berember-ember gw pake buat air mata gw..Perhaps there will me no such thing called "One littre of tears" it will change to "2 littre of tears" hikssss....walaupun udah kerja keras sebagaimanapun juga keluarnya sama lg, apalg klo gw gk put effort..WORST!!!!

2007-05-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

Dasar si cin!!! udah bgs2 gw puji2 lo..lo nya malah blg cc gk becus!!! Dasar dd jelek!!!

YAY!!! somebody gonna treat me comics!!! whehehehe....

2007-05-12T09:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a hillarious day. Well actually since last 2 days. On thursday night, It was girl night out. I went out with Cindy, Steffi, Stephanie, Miranda, and Anita to watch a show called 200pounds beauty. It was a cute and of course touching movie. This movie show us the motivation of a fat girl to get what she wants in her life. She wants to be a singer instead of backup singer and also to get the guy that she likes. O ya.. before we watched the movie, Steffi, Miranda, Cindy and I were eating at Cafe Cartel (Plaza Singapura) Then after a few minutes Stephanie joined us after she watched Spiderman 3 with some of her friends. In the restaurant, 5 of us were singing the DORAEMON song with different tone, Steph sang with her opera voice, Steffi with her childish voice, Cindy with her alto voice, Mir with her high pitch and lastly me with my bass voice. The song become more colourful after we sang it toghether with different tone. hahahaha...

At 7.15pm, Anita came and Join us at The Cathay and we were ready to go in to the cinema...hahaha...

Inilah foto2 kita

Kumis2an,Peace yo!!,maenin rambut, cutie at the back

4 of us at adidas shop.

6 OF US before we go back to our home

The next day, on Friday May 11, Cindy and I were watching spiderman 3 at Great World City. A great movie with a great story but the ending its so... (KNAPA KOK SI PETERNYA GK PROPOSE SI MJ SEH??? Penonton kecewa!!!) well...then I met steph and steffi at SAY CHEESECAKE...OMG it is such a good resturant...I LOVE THE CHEESECAKE... I ate the one with chocolate and marshmallow on top of the cheesecake.Its so nice. Then cindy ordered the cheesecake with oreo crust on it...The taste is kinda weird...and u know what??We complained to the manager that the taste is kinda weird and suddenly he treat us the nicest cheesecake at that restaurant....We were like...okay..what should we do now? since he gave us this??? then while we were waiting for our digestion to finish??? AGAIN we sang the DORAEMON song with different pitch...Eric were there too and he looked so u noe...hahaha...Then when we wanted to ask for the bills, steph raised her hand but no one respond to her...in the end steph said "Excuse me" with her opera voice...The servant was responding her and she laughed at us...When we paid the bills, we give extra $2 to pay off the cake that the manager gave us...and lastly we runaway from that restaurant...hahaha...

2007-05-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back...after several months I never update my blog...Many things have been passing through my life... Well I'm gonna start with yesterday stuff... Exams are over...I'm so happy. I can feel the relieve but still its not totally a relieve as I haven't get my result yet. Once I got back my result, I don't know what will happen. Happy or sad? Well I don't know!

Holiday is coming!!! I can't wait to go back to my hometown. It's so lovely to be back in my hometown. Although, I cannot hang out with my friends like what I did here, I still feel very happy because I can meet my parents as they seldom come to visit me(after 4 1/2 years in here, my mom only visit me once!!!! How pathetic is that???)

I love school!!! Even though school driving me crazy, but I love in it.

I love my friends. Thanks to them for always cheering me up whenever I'm sad. Thanks to them for making my life colourful. Thanks for always helping me whenever I need help.

I love my tutors. To Ms Lee and Ms Yvonne..Thanks to both of you for teaching me since I started my school journey in Henderson.

AND My dearest mami and papi. Walaupun cc selalu ngabisin uang mami papi, cc selalu kangen dan berdoa buat mami papi biar sehat selalu dan diberkati Tuhan selalu. Cc pingin bgt buat mami papi bahagia. Aku pingin bgt bawa mami papi keliling dunia in the future. Makasi ya, udah kasi cc kesempatan buat nglakuin apa yg cc mau. Terima kasih udah kasih kepercayaan ke cc buat nglanjutin sekolah ke luar negeri kayak sekarang ini.

Eits..From happiness till sadness..hahaha...

saturday night with jenny...aja...aja..aja...

2006-09-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

hmmm....today in the mood of blogging...these days I feel so curious...but I didnt know what am I curious for...its like actually nothing happen...but when I heard this 2 songs I feel like I was in that song...this song its like telling about my feeling towards someone but I didnt know how is that person feeling...I didnt know how long can bare with this feeling...when I hear that song...my feeling really flows....its like either sad or curious...well Insecurity inside me..
Today I went out with Jenny..actually we want to study at the Bukit merah library there...but after like 1 or 2 hours...our stomach calling us...so errr ya...we went to find a restaurant...in the end we ate at the suki sushi at cineleisure....hmmm...nice to hang out with her...she is really a nice girl...but Jen pliz dun be so ermm...I dun want to mention it...but alright...She brighten my day!!! I really thank her a lot..and also thanks for listening all the things that I wanna tell from inside my heart...

...something...

2006-09-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

Something that's hidden inside here...something that can come in and out by itself...something that can hurt me a lot by itself...something that perhaps change my life...my days...my thought...something that maybe I'm thirsty of...Something that can make me cannot do anything...something that I cant tell...something that always change...something that make me unsure of...

This life...

2006-09-12T02:08:00.000-07:00

I think this year is the most complicated year ever...from school,friends,family and others...maybe I think too much over those problems...but how can I not thinking about those problem if I'm involve in it????? Damn!!!! I wanna noe how to be an ignorant person...I mwan in the way of end or solve a problem...Sick of it man!!!! well I cant mention all m problems here...but there are 3 things that I faced till now....Firstly of course the most obvious one is school...Worried of all the subjects in school...worried cannot catch up with the work and CCA...I hate CCA...why they cant understand me??? Secondly...family..Can all the problems among our family can be stop or end??? Im tired of being inpolite to the other cousin...I dun want to be like this...I want a better condition...the person who make the mistake must be guitly of what they have been doing...and it really affect my family a lot!!!! thirdly I dun want to mention it..but I just want to say.." Kalau hatinya masih bersama yang lain, untuk apa memeperthankan perasaan ini lagi." Maybe Im wrong for saying this..but thats what I feel...If I can fly I want to fly as far as I can..Like a bird..fly everywhere as they want..as free as they want...

I Love Korea!!!!

2006-09-11T03:37:00.000-07:00

Yeahhh I Love korea!!! Well I never been there before..I only see Korea as beautiful in the magazine...I want to go there...I love their songs...Se7en,Shinhwa,BoA,Baby vox,Rain,Joon ji hoon, Kang ta and many more...even I dun understand when they sing the songs, I dunno how can I feel the beat,feeling,music of the songs..somehow those korean songs that I listen can bring me deep...deep...deep...into the songs...as if like these songs tell about my story or I was in the story that the sing..sometime I can cry or feel the joy from these korean songs...but I really love their songs...the songs much more melancolic I guess...Their drama series also...OMG their movies can make me cry and really laugh..I think that its really amaze me or maybe I'm the one who really bring out my feeling when watching the movie or I'm too serious while watching it...hmmm...who noes...their fashion style..I guess their fashion style really suite me..their style its just simple..casual but still attractive...I like that... wearing simple clothes but attractive...they more intend to do more things with their hair...I mean like changing hairstyle....they still bring their simplicity but attractive...I like that!!!! I wish I can speak Korean and go there or maybe stay there^0^...

2006-09-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow the sch starts...I cant wait for it..meet all my friends in sch...Well it left like 2 more months to the end of sch term...I cant wait for that too...I still miss my family in indo..but just be patience for this 2 months...and I must workhard for this 2 months..I hope I cant get what I want..I want to do well for all my subjects...and I want my dream come true...I cant wait for graduation day..but it's like 2 more years to the graaduation day...hahahaha..Perhaps I will miss Singapore after I graduated from here...I dont know whether I'm going to continue study here or going overseas...But to reach that, I still must put a lot of effort..

Thank you Mom for accepting what I want...I luv ya...

Happy birthday Isnu...v^0^v

2006-08-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

Why am I feeling this way? somehow like lonely,happy but a lil bit sad,no interest or mood in doing anything. I feel that loneliness again..Am I that quiet until no one wants to talk to me? or Am I that borring? Am I that moody? Am I???? Can anyone tell me? why i feel so badly here....Under depression....

the truth....

2006-08-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

Gimana perasaan lo org ketika diancam sama org yg plg lo sayagin? Ketika hatimu ditusuk oleh kata2 yg dikeluarkan dr mulut mereka? Seberapa berarti perkataan mreka itu bagi mu? Buat lo org yg blg klo apa yg nyokap lo bilang itu gk mungkin terjadi, lo harus mikir2 lg. Setiap perkataan yg kluar dr mulutnya itu berarti sesuatu dan lo gk blh anggap remeh sama apa yg diomongin sama dy.

Perasaanku beberapa minggu ini serasa bener2 kebelah, gk tau kebelah jd berapa part. Rasanya sakit hatiku ini menahan smuanya. Tetesan air mataku pun mengalir... Jikapun aku menangis. serasa gk ada artinya. Tapi harus bagaimana? I have no way to exprress my sickness, my pain inside here. I cant talk back to them...but how should I tell them how is my feeling here. Kalo misalnya aku share sama tmn pun, blm tentu mreka bisa rasain apa yg aku rasain skarang ini. Kalo aku nangis, mungkin org2 will think klo aku mau ambil sympati mreka. Do I? or they might think the other way??? Actually its rediculous to write in this blog but I dun have anything to lie on now...

Mom...I'm sorry...I might be hopeless....but Im really trying the best that I can do....
I might not be perfect in doing anything. but is there anyway to make u accept it? or to make u happy?.......

something that I want...

2006-08-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...I was thinking of something that never happened in my life before....and I always missed it...I think it is quite obvious...Birthday party...I dun have a birthday party since hmmm...quite a long time...I just wondering if I can have a surprise party...or just simple one but memorable...I always missed this moment every year...Everytime during my birthday, I always spend my day with my family..having a normal dinner.. well my birthday I never expect anyone to give me a present.. its up to the person whether they want to give or not...for me as long as they remember I am happy with it...How I wish I can celebrate my birthday with my friends here... but it seems like it will never happen in my life...will that happen? who noes???

Confussion....

2006-08-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

Waktu cepet bgt berlalu...which means The time for me to make a decision is coming...I can count it by my fingers....Confuse of what to think of...or what to do??? If I cant make it this time it means that's it...the journey is end...huahuahuahua....I dun want it to be happen...I still want to continue it end of my life...struggling a lot here but it doesnt make me to give up.!!!!! Pokoknya harus bisa!!!!!!

Confession....

2006-08-12T04:57:00.000-07:00

Learning from the past is good for our life...but a passion of going back to the past is that good? Learning from the past really make my life change...As the time goes by I can understand how difficult walking on the path throughout this life...the love story..the friendship life and also the school life... I guess this life is full of mix and match..It's like when u want to wear a clothes u must see what should we match with? friends come in and out....meeting a new friends means meeting a new story of life..but when this friends betrayed you or leave u alone the story that u make with them is end....Is that true? Well we still can keep in touch with them but maybe its different...they're character and the way they treat u might be different...I guess that's what I feel now...We can make friends anywhere...Actually they're all around you...we cant always depend on one friends only because they are not the one that gonna lead our life...I make this principle stick in my head but why I still cant stay away from this feeling... Do I feel lonely? If I can re-born I want to really change my life...well now I cant change my life totally but I only can repair to the better one... Can I?

2006-08-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it's such a tiring day but it's still fun... For the 1st half day, It's preety boring...but still I must do my freaky homework...then at around 3.30pm I started my journey, shopping at Taka with Dewi and Sylvia...At nite my roomie, Lea and I watched Fireworks at the Merlion near Esplanade. They were so beautiful...They were like a paint spalshing the clear blue sky in the evening...I love that scenery...I wish I can watch it again...hahahaha...

2006-07-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Its to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happenCause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the viewWhen there was me and you

I can't believe thatI could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the viewT
hought you felt it too
When there was me and you

I guess that's what I feel these days...

2006-07-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

I want to say the truth but I cant...I want to noe the truth but I cant what can I do?

2006-07-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

Another time...another days...the journey had been start since the beginning of this year...Many things had happened throughout this year...a new people come...everything seems change starting from the 1st day of this year..but the changes doesn't affect much until I make my decision...changing my mindset leading this life to the right one...I can feel the change..the pain...the sadness and of course the hapiness too. "Once you make a decision, you can't take back the decision" that is the phrase that stick in my mind for this few days..Everytime I make a decision, I always think of what is the advantage or the disadvantage and what will happen after I make that decision. Sometime I am worried of all my decision that I make..sometimes I asked myself will I regret it? but if that decision makes me change...I don't mind...Thank you for giving me advices and makes me think of every steps that I take...

Saturday...The freakoooo...

2006-07-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

yeah today it's the last day with the 7 kids...Kalo ada pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan...Today it's very fun...AKU JADI REBUTAN!!!! Today I went shopping with 3 children. They're names are vivian,Aan and Nerissa. Vivian is pretty girl and talkative. Aan anaknya gampang bgt ngambek, nerdy and he looks like my brother...hahahaha...Nerissa..She is very quiet girl,wearing the braces and pretty too. Aan and nerissa always cannot be toghether. Apalagi klo aku dah ada diantara mereka..nanti yg vivian wants to go to buy toys then yg Aan wants to see the plants. Isn't that a big different? klo misalnya badan ku bisa dibagi 2...hmmm...In the end mreka berdua ngambek...Then koko treat them ice cream...hahaha..Lucky uncle and ko Robert fetch them in the right time...I'm almost losing my passion...but never mind..It's a lesson on how to take care of children...Buat Isnu sorry dah ngrepotin....In the end I met them again but in other venue which is near my previous homestay...When I went out from the house I was smilling so happily..Then Ko Robert asked me "Why are you so happy?" Then I said nothing...then they start to tease me. The worst thing is that they say something that make me irritating...argghhhh....Yahhhh..now it's over no more laughter at nite and no more quarelling at home...I'm gonna miss them a lot..

Friday... the farewell...

2006-07-14T08:57:00.001-07:00

Today is the last day with the 7 kids here..We are having a lot of fun today. 1st we went to Marina bay..having bbq party there....2ndly walking around esplenade...jogging around the area and a lot of fun happened today. I love these days surrounding with kids. I'm gonna miss them a lot. I hope they will come back again here....

2006-07-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm such a loner....What do you all feel if u are crowded with ur friends but no one talks to you?????? Am I the one?

Thursday...The lovely..

2006-07-13T06:17:00.000-07:00

While I'm writting this blog I'm doing my A-maths homework and listen to my favourite song "Scandal" thx for him for sending the song.hehehe... In sch today...I have 3 periods of POA and 2 periods of E-maths with the same teacher. Can you imagine 5 periods seeing the same teacher??? Well it's kinda borring but no choice. After sch something happen in my house area. Firstly My tutor was lost when finding my house and she was stucked at the hawker centre near my house.hahaha... (You rawk Ms Lee...hahaha). Then today I must walked around my block area to find an ATM machine. When I called my guardian wanted asking where's the ATM, I was standing right beside the ATM machine...WTH...I want to laugh to myself man...I was like a girl lost in her own house area.hahahaha..It's always happened to me since I moved to my new house. This is my 3rd time after I moved to this house. hahahaha...Well is kind of adventure. Walked around the market and walked blindly.hahaha...What a memorable moment...

Wednesday...errrr...

2006-07-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

Wednesday errrr...Today I can say it such a tiring day..Mau ngomong apa ya?? Hari ini di skolah borring bgt..iya hr ini di rumah..di wawancarain sama 7 kurcaci..wakakakak...ditanyain macaem2 dr kehidupan di skolah sama di rmh yg dulu and also indo house...pertanyaannya aneh2 bgt.Ditanyain kangen gak brapa mama? then udah brapa lama dsini? udah pernah pergi ke Pasir ris blm?? anyway they're just kids and I think it's normal to ask such questions. Today for A maths we learn a new chapter. This chapter is easy but it's difficult to understand. Today A maths lesson makes me think of what decision to take. Shall I or NOT? hmm...I dunno what kind of answer that I need. Today when I'm writting this blog the house flung with water. hahaha...My roomate and I clean up the water. Well thanks to Tirsa for telling us this incident.If not this house gonna float with water.hahahaha...

Mes mots...

2006-07-11T02:49:00.000-07:00

Si un jour je peux trouver ma façon pour vous obtenir. Si je peux savoir la vérité de tout.. Peut-être je penserai arrière encore.. je penserai que quelle décision devrait je prends. ..What fera je fais pour faire l'améliorer.. Peut-être mon voyage d'amour toujours sera terminé au milieu du chemin.. et je ne sais pas quand fera l'est entièrement éclairci...

Tuesday...The longest yard...

2006-07-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah..its tuesday... The longest day of the week but I still love it... First thing in the morning..well its still the same...doing the morning duty(gate duty)..Physic lesson then PE..the favourite subject at all times..even it is painful, I think it is good fo our health...and one more thing PE make my SKIN DARKER!!!!..English lesson..It can be better..but the teacher is so naggy...I hate when time she raised her voice...It's damn sharp!!!!! E-maths lesson...hmm...seeing my POA teacher...Mother tongue class is still the same with the jokers around...then the last one A-maths...this teacher teach in very fast speed but he's very good....I Like the way he teach..Today I get injured at my elbow...During PE lesson the teacher ask us do streching for the stomach muscle and back muscle...One of the section is that we must do superman style...It's like so funny...especially when Jeremy give us example of how to do the streching...hahahaha...Today such a tiring day but of course having Fun always....

Monday...The Gorgeous...

2006-07-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

I guess Monday is such a wonderful day... well I noe it's a school day, but it's a brand new day for me. For the soccer match ITALY WON!!! they're the winner for the World Cup 2006.Then today for ss lesson, we have combined lecture with the annoying class. Well I get my ss holiday assignment result, I was very shocked and happy I get the highest mark in class. This is my first time I get the highest mark in class.hehehe..hmm...the day keep changing everyday..the time seems so near....Ready or not?

I miss everything

2006-07-09T04:48:00.000-07:00

Shirley Thank you for your help.
Well i dunno why i still can't believe Ikka is leaving sg. I miss her a lot. I miss leonies and also those people whos stay at 08-06. Mul,Jess,syl,nad,indi and devi. I miss them a lot. I miss where Mul,Jess and I went out together. Hang out together at the blind night. I miss the time we play bowling,pool and of course supper at spize. The laughter, screaming and sadness are all gone now. Well it's not trully gone but now it just a memory.I miss the counselling room and my councelling parthner,Sylvia.hehehe... Not only that I miss the security guard there especially the "butch" who is always scolding us when we are having party late night. hahaha.. Overall I miss all the times at the leonies. But...Life has to be go on. I still must continue with my mission and move to a new environment it's not really that bad. I guess I can have the better one here. Thanx for everybody in leonies especially aunty,uncle and all my friends at the leonies there for being always there beside me.Thanx for ur support. Even we are seperated now, we must still keep in touch. For ci Amel sorry ci benang nya aku abisin.hehehe..I miss all of u.

Beautiful sunday...

2006-07-09T03:45:00.000-07:00

Well today I just watch the SWS concert at the Esplanade. It was such a wonderful performance. The theme is "Goes Animals.."It is so nice..even they have made some mispitch when their playing, overall it is not that bad. I like the songs like the Lion King, Disney series and the Doggy and not to forget the Baby elephant. If there is repeatation in the show time I will go and watch it again.